i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
