Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Randomize
