last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
