I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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