D3 body, D1 cock
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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