Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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