my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
