Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
