I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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