Got a toothbrush?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
