people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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