I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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