He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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