Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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