so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
