I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
