so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
