dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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