I just threw up on my dentist
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
