i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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