so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
