as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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