He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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