The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Randomize
