I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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