If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
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