Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
