Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
