Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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