marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
In America we eat man semen.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
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i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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