You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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