I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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