If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
