Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
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Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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