all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
