So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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