You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize