Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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