i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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