How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
you had me at cake vodka
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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