Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
