I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Found your dick twin last night
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
