y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
