I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
