nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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