I bet he comes in French.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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