Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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