if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Randomize
