come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
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