I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I think my moral compass just broke
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
