That's intense
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
