He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
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