It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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