That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
