***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
