my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
