it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
