Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
