If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
