Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
