Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
