I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
