Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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