It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
