Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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